Managing Mental Health During the Holidays
Understanding the Mental Health Impact of the Holiday Season
Christmas is often pictured as a joyful time filled with family, gifts, and celebrations. But for many people, especially those with trauma histories or ongoing emotional challenges, the reality is much more complicated. The holiday season can bring up feelings of loneliness, stress, and overwhelm — sometimes making it one of the hardest times of the year. If you find yourself struggling this season, you’re not alone. And there are ways to support yourself that can help you navigate these challenges with more kindness and resilience.
Emotional and Social Challenges
For some, Christmas can trigger difficult memories or feelings of loss. Trauma and grief don’t take a holiday — instead, the emphasis on togetherness and celebration can highlight painful absences or unresolved tensions. If family gatherings are stressful or feel unsafe, it’s natural for anxiety or emotional exhaustion to increase. This emotional weight can also amplify the voice of your inner critic — that internalised voice that judges and shames you. The pressure to “get it right” or feel joyful can make that critic louder, telling you that you’re not doing enough or that you’re failing.
Financial Pressure and Holiday Expectations
The holidays often come with significant financial stress: gifts, travel, entertaining, and social events can quickly add up, especially if you’re already managing tight resources. For many, the pressure to “keep up” or give generously can feel overwhelming, deepening feelings of shame, guilt, or inadequacy. These feelings can feed the inner critic’s harsh messages, making it harder to enjoy the season. Social media, while offering positives like connection and inspiration, can also contribute to these pressures during the holidays. This time of year, people often share carefully curated posts showcasing their perfect gifts, celebrations, and holiday experiences. Seeing these highlights can unintentionally fuel comparison, making you feel like you’re falling short or missing out — especially when your reality feels very different. Unrealistic expectations of a “perfect Christmas” — filled with harmony, abundance, and joy — can add another layer of burden. For those living with depression, anxiety, trauma, or financial hardship, striving to meet these ideals can be exhausting, disheartening, and isolating. Recognizing the gap between social media portrayals and real life can be a helpful step toward self-compassion and easing some of the pressure.
Overload, Fatigue, and Burnout
The flurry of events, errands, and obligations during the holiday season can leave you feeling completely depleted. Many people find themselves almost crawling to the finish line of the year, running low on energy after months of work, stress, or personal challenges. For some, this time of year comes without any real breaks or holidays, making exhaustion even more intense. When your tank is empty, it’s harder to cope with even small demands. Neglecting self-care during this busy period can worsen both emotional and physical wellbeing. Overindulgence in alcohol or food — common ways to cope with stress — can contribute to mood swings, disrupt sleep, and add to feelings of overwhelm. Recognizing this fatigue and giving yourself permission to slow down, rest, and recharge is crucial to navigating the season with greater resilience.
The Role of Self-Compassion
During times like this, practicing self-compassion can be a powerful way to soothe your inner critic and support your mental health. Self-compassion — as defined by Dr. Kristin Neff — means treating yourself with kindness and understanding when things are tough, rather than judgment or criticism. It’s not about forcing yourself to feel positive or pretending everything is fine. Instead, it’s about acknowledging your struggles honestly and responding with care. This approach can reduce feelings of shame, isolation, and overwhelm, and help build emotional resilience.
Practical Ways to Practice Self-Compassion This Holiday Season
Notice your inner critic without trying to silence it immediately. Simply acknowledge when it shows up.
Talk to yourself like you would a close friend who is struggling — with kindness and patience.
Remember that struggling during the holidays is common and part of our shared human experience.
Give yourself permission to say no to gatherings or tasks that feel too much.
Take breaks to rest and care for your wellbeing, even if that means stepping away from celebrations.
Reach out for support if things feel overwhelming — talking to a trusted friend or professional can make a big difference.
You can find guided self-compassion meditations and exercises at https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/, created by Dr. Kristin Neff, to help you build this skill gradually.
The Importance of Connection and Support
Alongside practicing self-compassion, connecting with others can make a big difference during the holidays. Reaching out to friends or loved ones who are caring and empathetic, especially those who might be going through similar challenges, can help reduce feelings of isolation. Sharing your experiences and struggles with people who understand can bring relief and foster a sense of belonging. If you don’t have someone in your immediate circle to talk to, professional mental health services can provide crucial support. Therapists, counselors, and support groups offer a safe space to process difficult emotions and help you co-regulate during overwhelming times. Remember, you don’t have to face this season alone — connection is a powerful step towards healing and resilience.
Final Thoughts
The holiday season can bring up a mix of emotions—joy, stress, grief, and sometimes loneliness or overwhelm. For many, especially those carrying the weight of trauma, loss, or emotional challenges, it can be one of the toughest times of the year. It’s important to remember that it’s perfectly okay if your holidays don’t look like the “perfect” version often portrayed. Practicing self-compassion offers a gentle way to meet yourself where you are. By treating yourself with kindness instead of judgment, you can begin to quiet the harsh inner critic that so often amplifies holiday stress. Alongside self-compassion, reaching out and connecting with caring, empathetic people, whether friends, family, or professionals, can provide essential support and help you feel less isolated. If you’re finding this season difficult, know that you don’t have to navigate it alone. Healing is a journey made easier with patience, kindness, and connection.
For more tips and resources on managing mental wellbeing during the holidays, visit Queensland Mental Health Week – Mental Wellbeing and the Holidays.